The IF Monster

I know several pregnant women right now. Of course I tend to notice these things even more when we are in the midst of a cycle - like now. I have been invited to baby showers, etc over the years and I have a personal rule - I don't do baby showers. This is for a couple of reasons. First, I have never liked them - even before IF - but I tolerated them for family and friends. I also don't like bridal showers but that is a different subject.

Secondly - and the main reason - is that baby showers and such, take the IF Monster out of the closet. Now, there may be some IFers that can handle such events but I am not one of them. I compare it to taking a person addicted to gambling to a high stakes casino with tons of cash and telling them not to lay down one dime.

Some may think that we have conquered IF because we have two amazing boys. And in some ways, that is true. We have two miracles that we were told would never be - and for that we are eternally grateful. However, pre-IF we wanted 4-5 children - not two. For us, we have not reached the summit of our struggles.


I have attempted to explain it this way to non-IFers:

One child or 10, the Big, Bad, Infertility Monster is always lurking in the closet. Some days the door is shut tight and all is quiet. Other days, there is a crack and I can see the glow of the monster's eyes and hear a low growl. But at other times and certain situations (like baby showers) the door flings wide open and the monster comes charging out. At these moments, there is nothing I can do but wait for the IF Monster to hit me full force in the chest and pierce me straight through the heart.

So......I don't do baby showers.