Tough Day

I was having tough day today - emotionally. I just keep questioning "why" we are not able to have more children. Why,when everything seems so perfect, I am not able to get pregnant? Why do I keep going? When is it enough? I was still in the midst of my emotional low, when I decided to post the pictures of the boys playing over the past few days.

Guess what happened?

My mood instantly lightened. I know "why" we continue. Because whenever I look at those 2 handsome faces, when I feel their little arms wrap around my neck and give tight hugs, and hear "love you Mom" - I have my answers. I am reminded daily (actually every minute of every day) that I have 2 walking and talking miracles. That they too, were once frozen embryos. Thanks to modern science they are here with us today. Our two glorious works of A.R.T.

Once again, on a Sunday, I need to remind myself to place this into God's hands. Let Him carry this burden - for He knows best.

Summer Days....

Dominic actually wanted me to take his picture! And he is smiling!

Of course, he has to get in one of his "funny" faces while we were taking pictures.

Poor Luke, you can hear, "Luke, pull up your pants!" about every 5 mins. Why do they make boys swim trunks with FAKE ties?

Luke says, "I went under!" whenever he pours water on his head. Of course, Dominic is quick to tell him otherwise.

Luke is back on the tube. Moments after this photo, they were all dumped head first into the lake. He came up laughing and said that was his favorite part!

My Future Motor-Cross Dare Devil!

Here is Luke, riding his 4-wheeler and showing off all of his new tricks! I'm just glad it doesn't go very fast!

Are you watching? He is getting set up for his BIG trick......

Ta-Da! Yes, he is riding the 4-wheeler while standing up! This is quite the impressive ride!

Whoops! CRASH - Glad that's not a real 4-wheeler! And Luke, where is your helmet?

On To FET

The RE office called this morning with my new calender. We will be doing the FET in the beginning of October. I will restart BCPs with CD 1 and go from there. I told Mark that now is a great time to get to a major home project we have been neglecting - painting the inside of the house! Hopefully that project and trying to keep up with 2 very active boys, will keep our minds off our loss and help time pass quickly.

Not a Perfect Ending

Our perfect cycle didn't have a happy ending. Our perfect little embryos have moved on to heaven. But, our lives will go on.....we are now waiting for a call from the clinic to set up the frozen transfer in the fall. Sooo - it is back to regular life - at least for a while.

Patience......

I'm typically not a person with patience. However, when waiting, and waiting, and waiting for Thursday to get here, I have been thinking about "patience" today. I found some good "patience" quotes:

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience."

This was my favorite - short and too the point:

"Patience is the art of hoping."

Only 2 more days.......

Isiah 55:9

On this beautiful Sunday morning, I thought I would share a scripture verse. For those you know me well, this is not something I do often. However, this one seemed so appropriate while I wait for the beta results later in the week.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

This reminds me that, ultimately, God knows best. I place my trust in God that He will watch over our little ones, whether that be growing inside of me or in Heaven with Him. So at least for today, my burden of infertility is lighter, knowing that God is carrying it for me.