Saturday, January 8, 2011
In the Mail
Our home study paper work - phase 1 - is in the mail. We are getting our fingerprints next week so our back ground checks can get started. Our social worker said the back ground checks are typically the longest process in the home study. We are hoping to have our first in-person visit from the social worker in about 3 weeks.
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Because you have lived in one place for so long & have no records, your background checks shouldn't hold you up. We have done it several times & even having moved like we have, ours didn't take too long at all.
The home visit will be seamless. I know you & Mark-really know you & your hearts & we've been to your home many times. It will go very well! Our first one, we were kind of nervous, but it was kind of like so many other things we get worked up about...once it's over you will probably think exactly what I did. I thought, "Why was I nervous? That went great!". But, I know why I was nervous-it is a huge thing! She would be the one saying if we were okay to adopt a sweet baby, so it was nerve wracking at first, the levity of it all, but then after I got over that & the initial few minutes of that first visit, it was actually enjoyable. I just had to remember that she was on our side & working for us. We got to know & feel close to our case worker. We still keep in touch with her today. We had an in office visit with her that was pretty lengthy one time where she asked questions & we answered & she wrote as we were speaking. Deep/life type questions. Our feelings about Infertility, adoption, life...I remember loving this appointment. Wish I could have gotten a tape or transcript of it. The best advice I can give you-be your authentic self. We opened up completely at this visit. Thomas & I both shed a few tears. I sat in amazement as she asked questions & Thomas answered them. It was one of those moments where I was never more proud to be his wife. You know, we know our husbands well, but to hear his answers spoken to her about our life & our future life as parents & our children & then to hear him open up the way that he did to her about adoption, Infertility, all that we had been through...wow.
As I know I have told you before-there will be some hoops to jump through during the home study process for sure as you know. But, like I said about those classes we had to take-we were not looking forward to it & then, by the end we were SAD that they were over. We learned so much, met great friends who we still keep in touch & spend time with today. (They have all since adopted as well & our kids play together.) We gained a perspective from those classes that we could have gotten no place else. My point-as difficult or annoying as some of it may seem, try to see this all as just part of the process that will bring your sweet baby home to you...& if along the way you learn some things, gain some perspective & possibly even enjoy it-BONUS! There is often a lot of uncertainty & much of the time you are so busy preparing-but remember, you are expecting! Enjoy this time & the process! It's hard not to let all the paper shuffle cause you to lose focus of the excitement & joy that should be yours during this time! Jen P.
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